We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

The Process

by Katie Benoit

/
1.
My friends say I'm hard to get to know. That much is true. The same things are unappealing to me. I like things new. It just seems that I'm seeing the same mistakes over and over again. Maybe it's just something I can't see in them. CHORUS: I need another cup of coffee, another mug of tea. I listen to you talking, but do you even hear me? Is this a friendly conversation or are you scoring points on me? I need another cup of coffee, 'tho it will never complete me. Speak willingly of my tangled past just so you know. I'm aware that I may be taboo and a little on the nose. I plan my days out but you have to go with the flow. Do I sound like someone you might know? CHORUS I can't disguise my disdain for meeting new people. It's tedious to get to know you when you play stupid games. I drink at my discretion. I'm such a silly lamb, but I watch out for the wolves whenever I can. CHORUS
2.
Next To Me 03:01
I hear your voice on the phone telling me you don't want to be alone. The pain inside you is worsening and I can't forget anything. Our lives wrapped up in emotion. We do what we have to do, but right now I get the feeling that there's only me and you. CHORUS: And if I never see the lightning, or ever feel the rain, I hope to see you laughing next to me someday. Whoah. I stare at your picture again, feeling the love buried deep within. We'll be married soon, maybe kids of our own. Dear God, I hope that you're not alone. Lord, if you promise me their safety, I swear I'll be the person you want me to be. We'll be married soon, maybe kids of our own. CHORUS: And if I never hear the thunder, I'll never be the same. I hope to see you with me by my side someday. If I never see the lightning, or ever feel the pain, I hope to have you by my side... BRIDGE: Please don't separate us. I know they're the one that I need. For so long I've been alone, and I want them next to me. CHORUS: And if I never hear the thunder, I'll never be the same. I hope to see you with me by my side someday. If I never see the lightning, or ever feel the pain, I hope to have you by my side next to me someday.
3.
Adrift 04:50
I'm thankful the nightmare is over. Brought back to status quo I'm feel-ing so uncourageous. Don't have a clue where to go. I'm so lost it's been a thousand years since I've had a compass to work from. Need repair. I'm adrift in the ocean. Land is nowhere to be found. (interlude) The sun rises heavy in the sky. I might be okay this time. Is it the moment to rip off my bodice? Set sail to the nearest galapagos that I can find. I'm so lost it's been a thousand years since I've had a compass to work from. Need repair. I'm adrift in the ocean. Land is nowhere to be found. I find land and check out my place here...
4.
The Stranger 03:53
When I try you on the phone, you're never there. Several hours later, feel like you don't care. Why the hell do I bother? Why am I even here? Do you need me anymore? Said you would be there for me, you've disappeared. Instead of filling me with hope, I feel despair. All I get is a text. No comfort there. Am I losing my sanity? CHORUS: You're a stranger to me now. I know we've lost the thread somehow. Empty promises to change won't help us now. We'll fall apart like this. If you choose to stay, then let me know by your actions, not your words that melt like snow. If we never adapt, we will never grow. Is this real or artifice? I thought this was a partnership, that we were there. There is only tumbleweeds trying to see you. I see the forest and the trees, but there's not a plume of compassion anymore. You like to fuck the evening through, I cannot fault. But your lack of interest lies in the missing thoughts of you and me together. We just fought and fought until it's all a complex chore. CHORUS
5.
It used to be that your kisses were heaven-sent, now I'm wondering where the hell the heaven went. Trying to let you know that I'm more than willing. All you do is say, "Hello, how are you feeling?" I wonder how you justify this type of treason? I'm like a jacket in the changing of the seasons. You won't tell me if I did something wrong. Sitting here pondering the lyrics of your song. CHORUS: You know that love is al-ways a two-way street. If it's just one way there is no chance for us to meet. I'm so alarmed by thickness of divide. Left to wonder if you're gonna pick a side. La la la la, La la la la La la La la la la, La la la la La la I never know if I'm coming or I'm going. Trying to hold the wheel; it's icy and it's snowing. Our love's become a demolition derby. We take a swipe and pretend it's not that dirty. I hit the gas trying to catch up with you. You take a one-way street where I cannot pursue. What were to happen if I run out of gas? Should I even be bothered with your ass? CHORUS Have we come undone? Are the parts worth less than the sum? Wonder why I'm wasting my time with you. We used to be in love. Could never get enough of. What happens now is up to you. CHORUS
6.
I wanted to protect you from the hell that life can serve. I gave you my trust. I gave it my all. Was this what I deserved? Thought you loved who I was inside, not to be taken for a freak. Now I'm walking on eggshells for fear of the pain of not being believed. CHORUS: What hope have I in things that remain unseen? I cannot pretend that I am a machine. Blithely looking where to go so I can remain me. Walk a path that most won't go that leads to the heart of me. I can't sustain your lifeforce that's pounding against me. It's all too much for me to bear, this permanent disease. You shrug me off, tell me to leave as if I was one of your whores. I grab my shit and my memories as I walk out of your door. CHORUS
7.
Emotion 04:52
I was only wanting the truth. Was that too much to ask of you? You just saw what you wanted to. Waiting for the crash. Chorus 1: I can't feel emotion. Don't want to be here anymore. Misunderstandings push me to the floor. You will be forgotten like those others in my past. This year meant something to me. You've reduced it into trash. Do you think that it justifies the means? Why did we burst at the seams? I sit here and question my sanity. I realize that your world is not for me to believe in. Chorus 1 So terrified of what I'd find. Wish I could've it paid no mind. I'm so much better now we're through. I can't believe that I wasted my tears missing you. Chorus 2: Now I feel emotion. Don't want to be here all the more. Misunderstandings throw me to the floor. You will be forgotten like those others in my past. These years mean much more to me. Taking back my life at last. I (repeated) Chorus 1 & 2
8.
When I felt your arms around me, a chill went down my spine. I hoped so much you wouldn't stay here with me. Leave the past far behind. Yet you manipulate and complicate every facet of my life. I cannot comprehend these feelings you send that glimmer like a sharpened knife. Chorus: Don't you understand these words? The harsh look from these eyes? You thought you knew just what to do. Face reality; you're wrong. When I heard your words surround me, I wanted to believe you. You twist my words and reasons for your own peace of mind. You only hear what you want to You must be as dense as a cold brick wall. I just can't get away from you. Chorus: Can't you comprehend these words? The gaze I give you from these eyes? I just want to stay away from you. Can't you see that you are wrong? There is a place I know so well, a darkened corner no one knows. Light my incense and crawl into bed. Most days that's how it goes. I can't sleep. I can't eat. You are stuck inside my mind. The phone rings. My brain sings. Why can't I just be blind? Chorus: Can't you comprehend these words? The gaze I give you from these eyes? I just want to stay away from you. Can't you see that you are wrong? Don't you understand these words? The harsh look from these eyes? You thought you knew just what to do. Face reality; you're wrong.
9.
I hear your voice on the phone telling me you don't want to be alone. The pain inside you is worsening and I can't forget anything. Our lives wrapped up in emotion. We do what we have to do, but right now I get the feeling that there's only me and you. CHORUS: And if I never see the lightning, or ever feel the rain, I hope to see you laughing next to me someday. Whoah. I stare at your picture again, feeling the love buried deep within. We'll be married soon, maybe kids of our own. Dear God, I hope that you're not alone. Lord, if you promise me their safety, I swear I'll be the person you want me to be. We'll be married soon, maybe kids of our own. CHORUS: And if I never hear the thunder, I'll never be the same. I hope to see you with me by my side someday. If I never see the lightning, or ever feel the pain, I hope to have you by my side... BRIDGE: Please don't separate us. I know they're the one that I need. For so long I've been alone, and I want them next to me. CHORUS: And if I never hear the thunder, I'll never be the same. I hope to have you by my side next to me someday. If I never see the lightning, or ever feel the pain, I hope to see you with me by my side someday.
10.
11.
12.

about

All the tracks are taken from previous releases, except the productions of "You're Wrong."

This album has been a frustrating labor of love to make. Around the same time I started working on this a year ago, I started up the 69 Susans experimental music project (69susans.bandcamp.com). I've been so wrapped up in experimenting with sounds that songwriting has sometimes taken a backseat to music production.

But now the album is completed. There are some older songs and some new ones on here. There was one that I created in an hour that I was going to make a YouTube video for, but I gave up on YouTube a while back.

The theme of this album is the life-cycle of relationships. It's always easier to write break-up songs than it is new relationship songs, so there's more of the former. I can't do schmaltz or fake emotions in my music, which is probably why this album took so long.

I run the gamut from synthpop to electronic rock to piano ballad... it's a cornucopia of many styles of music I love listening to. I hope the love I put into these songs shows through.

For the moment, this will put to rest my being a solo vocal performer. I feel far more comfortable producing or playing instruments than I do singing. I'm not saying I'll never make new vocal music or sing on tracks with others again. I'm just saying that it's time to focus on music that comes easier to me than pop music.

The largest part of why the album took so long is that I simply don't like my singing voice. As a producer and audiophile, I take how things sound with a lot of minutiae and particularity. My voice is neither all that remarkable or interesting from the production angle. But it's mine all the same.

I hope you enjoy this last (for now) round of pop songs that I sing for the moment.

credits

released February 26, 2020

Written, Produced, and Performed by Katie Benoit

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Moderate Potatoe Multimedia St. Louis, Missouri

Music from the mind of Cadence Benoit. I create music in various styles & genres because I get bored easily. My primary focus is on electronic music. Although my older music is more pop, my newer music is leaning more in different directions.

Previously known as equals the RAVEN, Katie Turner, DJ Jynx, Starbelle & DJ K8T, I also write prose as Caitlyn Benoit.
... more

contact / help

Contact Moderate Potatoe Multimedia

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like The Process, you may also like: